Idiosyncrasies. Why are we so quick to want to “fix” idiosyncrasies or imperfections in our children? We are in a “fix-it” culture and when one thing is presumed to be different, we run to fix it. Since when did “normal” surpass unique?
Some of our children’s most endearing qualities are their very idiosyncrasies and imperfections. Do I wonder at times, Are these normal? Sure I do, but then I see their beautiful and quirky selves, and soak in what makes them unique–what makes them my children.
While help is needed when our children are really struggling, there is something serene and remarkable about letting kids be who they are. Just letting them be. Boy do I need to work on this. When my instinct is to think, I need to figure out what is wrong, I am brought back to Psalm 46:10, “Be still and know that I am God.”
Be still. Come as you are.
Who cares if someone approves or disapproves? What matters is that our children believe in our Almighty loving God who adores them… as they are. Let’s teach our children to find peace and confidence in the beautiful creations God made them to be, regardless of others’ opinions. They are just as the Lord intended them to be. Memorizing Jeremiah 17:7-10 is a practical way to encourage our children to find their identity in the Lord: “But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.”
As we all seek to find our worth and confidence in the Lord, we will care less and less what others think of us.
This life is temporary. Let’s embrace our children as they are, quirks and all. Let’s run against culture and let idiosyncrasies be.
While we strive for accepting our children as they are, some of their issues will need attention from specialists. My intent is not to downplay that at all. Many children need that extra help to find freedom in the day-to-day, and how wonderful that there are so many avenues to help them reach that. But even if help needs to be sought, let’s find rest and peace in the fact that we are given today with this beautiful person. Let’s celebrate our children, without expectation of arriving to a particular destination, but being content with where they are now.
I believe that’s how Jesus wants all of us to come to him. As we are.
Letting go of the incessant need to change and fix. Jesus was angered by Simon the Pharisee for mumbling judgment under his breath about the “sinful woman” who longed to see Jesus. Jesus was angered that Simon did not even welcome him, but that the “sinful”, rather, “loving” woman came to Jesus’ feet just as she was. She loved much, and her faith saved her. Jesus then told her to “go in peace”.
In Luke 18, Jesus shares about a Pharisee who stood in pride thanking God for how perfect he was, yet another man, an outcast, “would not so much as raise his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me a sinner!’ I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”
This man was real with his imperfections before the Lord and he was shown mercy. He came just as he was.
Throughout the day-to-day, idiosyncrasies and all, let’s take a deep breath, slow the pace, embrace our children as they are, and be still and know that he is God.
Come visit me at www.LinseyDriskill.com and @BeautifulHeartedParenting.